Losing Support
The last few weeks of my first year of college have been crazy. Went to my first Frat party, had the time of my life. Got into a huge fight with both my parents, now they will not give me money, got into a fight with my boyfriend, and homework is horrible. I feel like I am losing all my support I once had. I feel like no one is there any more. And growing up sucks. I turn 18 on Saturday. And I am not looking forward to it. The older I get the worse things seem. Never knew being on my own in a foreign city would be so hard. I always thought my parents would be there for me. My boyfriend seems to think that it will blow over, but I am not to sure about that.
The feeling of falling behind in school, still dealing with financial aid issues, losing all support and trying to balance social and school life…I am starting to realize why so many people drop out. I also feel like I am not smart enough to be here, my writing abilities, my test scores my everything is not where I want it to be. And no matter how hard I try I do not feel like I am where I should be.
Some days I wonder why I am here, why am I wasting my time doing something I don’t know if I can do. But then I think about everything I have gone though to make it here. And I believe I can do it, believe I can get through it all, and I believe that everything happens for a reason. Also that everything happens for a reason. And no matter what, I am doing this for me, not anyone else. It is hard to think about some times. But truly it helps.
On a good note, I have made some great new friends recently. And they have been so supportative. And help keep me on track. Weather I need to go work out so I am not so stressed, or if I need to get put in check they are there for me.
College would be impossible without a good support system. And mine has grown so much since I have been here. Although I am pretty stressed out lately, I know I can do it, and I know I can get through it. All because of my great support system.
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